In this fifth Perek of Shaar Cheshbon HaNefesh, Rabbeinu Bachya zt"l delves into the crucial question of how often a Yid needs to engage in spiritual accounting. Is it a constant avodah, or only at certain times? The Tanna is coming to be mechadesh a profound chiddush here, that this cheshbon hanefesh is not just a periodic exercise, but rather a continuous, moment-to-moment duty, commensurate with one's intellectual capacity and understanding.
Rabbeinu Bachya brings powerful raayos from Tanach to underscore this point, showing how Hashem Himself commands us to keep His Torah and mitzvos constantly in mind. He then offers practical guidance on how to internalize this constant accounting, emphasizing that no good deed is too small, and no sin too insignificant. He also cautions us against becoming complacent, reminding us that even our greatest acts of avodas Hashem are but a drop in the ocean compared to Hashem's boundless chessed.
אַךְ אִם הַחֶשְׁבּוֹן הַזֶּה חוֹבָה עַל הָאָדָם תָּמִיד, אוֹ בִּקְצָת הַזְּמַן מִבְּלִי קְצָתוֹ – אוֹמַר בִּתְשׁוּבַת הַשְּׁאֵלָה הַזֹּאת: כִּי הַחֶשְׁבּוֹן חַיָּב בּוֹ הָאָדָם כְּפִי כֹּחַ שִׂכְלוֹ וּמַעֲלַת הַכָּרָתוֹ, תָּמִיד עִם כָּל הֶרֶף עַיִן, וְאִם יוּכַל, עִם כָּל נְשִׁימוֹתָיו; כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִפָּרֵד מִמֶּנּוּ הַמּוֹרָא וְהַפַּחַד וְהַבֹּשֶׁת מֵהָאֱלֹהִים ית׳, הַמַּשְׁקִיף עָלָיו תָּמִיד.
Regarding whether this accounting is a constant duty for a person, or only at certain times and not others, I will answer this question by saying that a person is obligated in this accounting according to the strength of his intellect and the level of his understanding, always, with every blink of an eye, and if he can, with every one of his breaths; so that awe, fear, and shame before Hashem Yisbarach, Who constantly observes him, should not depart from him.
וְיִלְמַד מִמָּה שֶׁצִּוָּה בּוֹ הָאֵל אֶת הַמֶּלֶךְ בְּאָמְרוֹ (דברים יז): וְכָתַב לוֹ אֶת מִשְׁנֵה הַתּוֹרָה הַזֹּאת עַל סֵפֶר וְגוֹ׳, וְהָיְתָה עִמּוֹ וְקָרָא בוֹ כָּל יְמֵי חַיָּיו וְגוֹ׳.
And one should learn from what Hashem commanded the king, as it says (Devarim 17): "And he shall write for himself this repetition of the Torah on a scroll, etc., and it shall be with him, and he shall read in it all the days of his life, etc."
וְאָמַר (יהושע א): לֹא יָמוּשׁ סֵפֶר הַתּוֹרָה הַזֶּה מִפִּיךָ וְגוֹ׳.
And it says (Yehoshua 1): "This book of the Torah shall not depart from your mouth, etc."
וְאָמַר (דברים ו): וְהָיוּ הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם וְגוֹ׳.
And it says (Devarim 6): "And these words, which I command you this day, etc."
וְאָמַר: וּקְשַׁרְתָּם לְאוֹת עַל יָדֶךָ וְגוֹ׳, וּכְתַבְתָּם עַל מְזוּזוֹת בֵּיתֶךָ.
And it says: "And you shall bind them for a sign upon your hand, etc., and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house."
וְחִזֵּק הָעִנְיָן בַּצִּיצִית בְּאָמְרוֹ (במדבר טו): וְהָיָה לָכֶם לְצִיצִית, וְאָמַר (שם): לְמַעַן תִּזְכְּרוּ.
And He reinforced the matter with Tzitzis, as it says (Bamidbar 15): "And it shall be for you Tzitzis," and it says (there): "So that you will remember."
וּמָה נִשְׁאַר מֵעִנְיְנֵי הַזֵּרוּז עַל הַחֶשְׁבּוֹן, אֲשֶׁר הוּא בְּעִנְיַן זִכְרוֹן הַבּוֹרֵא, שֶׁלֹּא זֵרַזְנוּ בּוֹ?
What is left among the matters of exhortation regarding the accounting, which is about remembering the Creator, that Hashem has not already exhorted us concerning?
וּכְפִי זֶה, אָחִי, רָאוּי לְךָ לְהִתְנַהֵג בְּהֶרְגֵּל הַחֶשְׁבּוֹן עִם נַפְשְׁךָ בְּכָל שָׁעָה וּבְכָל רֶגַע לָאֵל יִתְבָּרַךְ.
And according to this, my brother, it is proper for you to accustom yourself to this accounting with your soul every hour and every moment before Hashem Yisbarach.
וְאַל תִּמְעַט בְּעֵינֶיךָ שׁוּם טוֹבָה שֶׁתַּעֲשֶׂנָּה לִשְׁמוֹ, אפי׳ בְּמִלָּה אוֹ בִּרְאִיָּה; כִּי הַמְּעַט מִמְּךָ רַב אֶצְלוֹ, וְכֵן בְּעִנְיַן הָעֲבֵרוֹת.
And do not consider any good deed you do for His Name as small in your eyes, even a word or a glance; for a little from you is much to Him, and similarly regarding sins.
וְהַקָּרוֹב שֶׁבַּדִּמְיוֹנִים בָּזֶה: הַעְתָּקַת הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ בָּאָרֶץ שִׁעוּר אַמָּה תֶּעֱתַק בַּגַּלְגַּל מִילִין הַרְבֵּה, וְכֵן הַעְתָּקַת הַצֵּל בָּאַצְטְרוֹלָ״ב.
The closest analogy for this is how the sun's movement on earth by a measure of an amah translates to many miles of movement in the celestial sphere, and similarly the movement of a shadow on an astrolabe.
NoteAn astrolabe was an ancient astronomical instrument used to make calculations and observations, often involving the positions of celestial bodies and the movement of shadows.
וְאַל יִרְבּוּ בְּעֵינֶיךָ מַעֲשֶׂיךָ, וְאִם יִהְיוּ לִשְׁמוֹ.
And do not consider your deeds great in your eyes, even if they are for His Name.
כִּי בַּמְּעַט שֶׁבַּטּוֹבוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ עָלֶיךָ, כֶּפֶל מַעֲשֶׂה כָּל יוֹשְׁבֵי הָעוֹלָם עִם דִּקְדּוּק הַחֶשְׁבּוֹן.
For even for the smallest of the favors He has bestowed upon you, the combined deeds of all the inhabitants of the world, even with a precise accounting, would not be enough to repay Him.
עַל כֵּן, אַל תִּתְעַלֵּם מֵעֲשׂוֹת חֶשְׁבּוֹנְךָ בֵּינְךָ וּבֵין בּוֹרַאֲךָ עַל גֹּדֶל טוּבוֹ עָלֶיךָ וְרֹב חֲסָדָיו עִמְּךָ יוֹם יוֹם.
Therefore, do not neglect to make your accounting between yourself and your Creator regarding the greatness of His goodness towards you and His abundant kindnesses with you every single day.
וְאִם לֹא יִפְנֶה לִבְּךָ בָּזֶה בַּיּוֹם, יִהְיֶה בַּלַּיְלָה.
And if your heart does not turn to this during the day, let it be at night.
וְאִם חָלַף לְךָ יוֹם א׳, הַשֵּׂג בַּשֵּׁנִי, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ רז״ל: שׁוּב יוֹם אֶחָד לִפְנֵי מִיתָתֶךָ, וְאָמַר (קהלת ט): בְּכָל עֵת יִהְיוּ בְגָדֶיךָ לְבָנִים.
And if one day has passed for you, catch up on the second, just as our Sages of blessed memory said: "Repent one day before your death," and it says (Koheles 9): "At all times let your garments be white."
This Perek establishes that cheshbon hanefesh is a constant, moment-to-moment obligation, not merely a periodic one. Rabbeinu Bachya supports this with pesukim from Tanach, highlighting Hashem's command for continuous remembrance of His Torah and mitzvos. He then advises us to view every good deed, no matter how small, as significant in Hashem's eyes, and similarly, to not dismiss any sin. Conversely, we should not consider our own good deeds as great, recognizing that they can never repay Hashem for even His smallest favors. The Perek concludes by stressing the importance of consistent accounting for Hashem's kindnesses, even if it means making up for missed opportunities on subsequent days, in line with the words of Chazal.
The Chovos HaLevavos is telling us a tremendous chiddush here: cheshbon hanefesh, this spiritual accounting, is not just a once-in-a-while thing. It's not only for Elul, or when we feel like we need a chizuk. No, the Tanna is telling us it needs to be *always*, with every blink, with every breath, to keep that yiras Shamayim alive. Just like a king needs to have the Torah with him constantly, just like we wear tefillin and tzitzis to remember Hashem's mitzvos always, so too this cheshbon, this awareness of Hashem's constant presence and His kindness, needs to be with us. It's not a burden; it's the very air our neshama breathes.
And what is this cheshbon? It's two things. First, don't minimize any good you do, even a small word or a glance, because to Hashem, it's huge. A tiny movement here on earth is a vast distance in the heavens. So too, our small efforts for Hashem are magnified. But on the other hand, don't get puffed up by your good deeds, because even the smallest kindness Hashem does for you outweighs all the good deeds of the entire world, doubled over! This isn't a contradiction; it's the balance of emes. Our avodah is precious, but Hashem's chesed is infinite.
So, what does this mean for us practically? It means we need to make this cheshbon a *habit*. Not just a thought, but a practice. If you miss it during the day, do it at night. If you miss a day, catch up the next. The Gemara says "Shuv yom echad lifnei misasecha" – repent one day before your death. Since we don't know when that day is, every day must be that day. This isn't about being perfect, but about being *present* with Hashem, always.
Your takeaway for today: Take just one minute, right now, to acknowledge one small kindness Hashem did for you today, and one small good deed you did for Him.