In this fifth Perek of Shaar HaPerishus, Rabbeinu Bachya delves into the practical application of *perishus* — abstinence — as understood within the framework of our holy Torah. He lays out a clear, structured approach, explaining that true Torah-based abstinence isn't about asceticism for its own sake, but rather a refined path in three key areas of life. We'll explore how to properly conduct ourselves in our interactions with others, how to master our physical senses and limbs, and finally, how to purify our inner world of thoughts and character traits.
Rabbeinu Bachya guides us through the nuances of each category, providing a roadmap for cultivating a life of *kedusha* and closeness to Hashem. He emphasizes that *perishus* is not merely about avoiding the forbidden, but also about elevating our use of the permitted, transforming our desires so that even things our nature craves become as undesirable as those it naturally abhors. This Perek is a foundational guide for anyone seeking to truly live a life of Torah and *yiras Shamayim*.
אֲבָל מָה שֶׁיֵּאוֹת לְתוֹרָתֵנוּ מֵהַפְּרִישׁוּת, אוֹמַר בִּתְשׁוּבַת הַשְּׁאֵלָה הַזֹּאת, כִּי הַפְּרִישׁוּת הַנּוֹהֶגֶת בְּתוֹרָתֵנוּ עַל ג׳ פָּנִים.
Regarding the type of *perishus* (abstinence) that is appropriate according to our Torah, I will answer this question by explaining that the *perishus* practiced in our Torah is on three fronts.
אֶחָד מֵהֶם בְּעָסְקֵנוּ עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם וְהִתְחַבְּרוּתֵנוּ עִמָּהֶם, וְהַשֵּׁנִי בְּמָה שֶׁאָנוּ מִתְיַחֲדִים בּוֹ זוּלָתָם בְּחוּשֵׁינוּ הַגּוּפִיִּים וְאֵבָרֵינוּ הַנִּרְאִים, וְהַג׳ בְּמָה שֶׁאָנוּ מִתְיַחֲדִים בּוֹ בְּמַצְפּוּנֵינוּ וּבְמִדּוֹתֵינוּ וּבְמַחְשְׁבוֹתֵינוּ וְהַצָּפוּן בְּלִבּוֹתֵינוּ מִן הָרַעְיוֹנִים הַטּוֹבִים וְהָרָעִים.
One aspect is in our dealings and interactions with other people; the second is in matters where we are alone, concerning our physical senses and visible limbs; and the third is in matters where we are alone, concerning our inner being, our character traits, our thoughts, and what is hidden in our hearts, whether good or bad ideas.
וַאֲנִי מְבָאֵר כָּל זֶה בְּדֶרֶךְ קְצָרָה כְּפִי יְכָלְתִּי בעז״ה.
And I will explain all of this concisely, to the best of my ability, with Hashem's help.
אֲבָל דֶּרֶךְ הַפְּרִישׁוּת הָרָאוּי לָנוּ בְּהִתְחַבְּרוּתֵנוּ עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם, מֵהֶם הַסְבָּרַת פָּנִים וְהַרְאוֹת הַשִּׂמְחָה בִּפְגִיעָתָם עִם הַכְּנִיעָה וְהַשִּׁפְלוּת וְלָשׁוֹן רַכָּה וְרוּחַ נְמוּכָה לְכֻלָּם, וּמֵהֶם הָרַחֲמִים וְהַחֲנִינָה וְהַחֶמְלָה עֲלֵיהֶם עִם הֲסָרַת הַטֹּרַח מֵעֲלֵיהֶם וְזָכְרָם בַּטּוֹב וַעֲשׂוֹת חֶסֶד עִמָּהֶם וְשֶׁלֹּא נְקַוֶּה לֵהָנוֹת מֵהֶם וְשֶׁנִּתְיָאֵשׁ מֵאֲשֶׁר בִּידֵיהֶם, וּמֵהֶם עֶזְרָתָם בְּתַקָּנַת תּוֹרָתָם וְעוֹלָמָם וְהוֹרוֹתָם הַדֶּרֶךְ אֲשֶׁר יִרְצֵהוּ הָאֱלֹהִים, וּמֵהֶם שֶׁנִּסְבּוֹל קֹשִׁי דִּבְרֵיהֶם וְשֶׁנִּשְׁפֹּךְ שִׂיחֵנוּ לִפְנֵי הָאֱלֹהִים וְלֹא לִפְנֵיהֶם.
However, the proper way of *perishus* for us in our interactions with other people includes: showing a cheerful countenance and expressing joy when meeting them, along with humility, lowliness, gentle speech, and a humble spirit towards all of them; showing them mercy, grace, and compassion, removing burdens from them, speaking well of them, doing kindness for them without expecting any benefit from them, and giving up all hope of receiving anything from them; helping them in matters of their Torah and their worldly affairs, and teaching them the path that Hashem desires; and bearing their harsh words patiently, and pouring out our concerns before Hashem, not before them.
וְהִמָּנַע מִמּוֹשְׁבוֹת הַמַּאֲכָל וְהַמִּשְׁתֶּה וְהַשְּׂחוֹק עִם הַשְּׁמִירָה מִכָּל מָה שֶׁיָּבִיא לְהַמְרוֹת הָאֵל בְּחֶבְרָתָם וְיוֹצֵא מִגְּבוּל הַצְּנִיעוּת וּמָסֹרֶת הַמּוּסָר וְהַדּוֹמֶה לָזֶה.
And one should refrain from gatherings of eating, drinking, and merriment, while being careful to avoid anything in their company that would lead to rebellion against Hashem, or going beyond the bounds of modesty, the tradition of *mussar*, and similar things.
אַךְ מָה שֶׁרָאוּי לָנוּ מִן הַפְּרִישׁוּת בַּפָּנִים הַשְּׁנִיִּם הַמִּתְיַחֲדִים בָּנוּ בְּחוּשֵׁינוּ הַנִּרְאִים יֵחָלֵק לִשְׁנֵי חֲלָקִים:
Now, what is proper for us in the second type of *perishus*, which concerns us alone regarding our visible senses, is divided into two parts:
אֶחָד מֵהֶם אָסוּר לָנוּ וְהֵם מִצְוֹת לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה.
One part is what is forbidden to us, and these are the negative commandments.
וְהַשֵּׁנִי מֻתָּר לָנוּ, וְהוּא כָּל מָה שֶׁהֻתַּר לָנוּ מִכָּל מִינֵי הַהֲנָאוֹת הַמֻּתָּרוֹת, וְכָל חֵלֶק מֵהֶם יֵחָלֵק לִשְׁלֹשָׁה חֲלָקִים, וְהוּא שֶׁכָּל מָה שֶׁנֶּאֱסַר לָנוּ אֵינֶנּוּ נִמְלָט מֵאֶחָד מִשְּׁלֹשָׁה דְּבָרִים:
The second part is what is permitted to us, which includes all types of permitted enjoyments; and each of these parts is further divided into three categories, meaning that everything forbidden to us necessarily falls into one of three classes:
אוֹ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה בַּטֶּבַע הַכֹּסֶף לוֹ כַּזְּנוּת וְהַגֶּזֶל [והרבית] וּלְהַרְבּוֹת מִן הַמַּאֲכָל וְהַמִּשְׁתֶּה הָאָסוּר לָנוּ.
Either it is something that nature desires, such as forbidden relations, theft, interest, or excessive eating and drinking of things forbidden to us.
אוֹ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה מִמָּה שֶׁלֹּא יִשְׂנָאֵהוּ הַטֶּבַע וְלֹא יִכְסוֹף לוֹ כִּלְבֹשׁ בֶּגֶד שַׁעַטְנֵז וְהַרְכָּבַת כִּלְאַיִם וַאֲכִילַת בָּשָׂר בְּחָלָב וַאֲכִילַת חֵלֶב וְהַרְבֵּה מֵהַדּוֹמֶה לָזֶה,
Or it is something that nature neither abhors nor desires, such as wearing *shaatnez*, planting *kilayim*, eating meat and milk together, eating *cheilev*, and many similar things.
אוֹ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה מִמָּה שֶׁיִּשְׂנָאֵהוּ הַטֶּבַע וּתְתַעֲבֵהוּ הַנֶּפֶשׁ כַּאֲכִילַת הַנְּבֵלָה וְהַמֵּתָה וְהַדָּם וְהַרְבֵּה מִמִּינֵי הַחַיִּים אֲשֶׁר לֹא הָיָה הָאָדָם חָפֵץ בַּאֲכִילָתָם אֲפִלּוּ אִם הָיוּ מֻתָּרִים בַּאֲכִילָה כִּשְׁמוֹנָה שְׁרָצִים וְהַדּוֹמֶה לָהֶם.
Or it is something that nature abhors and the soul detests, such as eating *neveilah* (a carcass), *meisah* (an animal that died on its own), blood, and many types of creatures that a person would not want to eat even if they were permitted, like the eight species of *sheratzim* (creeping things) and similar items.
וְרָאוּי לְךָ אָחִי שֶׁתְּיַסֵּר נַפְשְׁךָ בִּפְרִישׁוּת מִכָּל מָה שֶׁצִּוְּךָ הָאֱלֹהִים לִפְרֹשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ עַד שֶׁתַּגִּיעַ מִן הַתִּעוּב וְהַמֵּאוּס בְּמִינֵי הַתַּעֲנוּגִים הַמְּנוּעִים וְהַתַּאֲווֹת עַד תַּכְלִית שֶׁיִּהְיֶה שָׁוֶה לָזֶה בְּטִבְעֲךָ הַמְּתֹעָב מִן הָאָסוּר עִם מָה שֶׁנִּכְסָפִין לוֹ מִמֶּנּוּ.
It is proper for you, my brother, to train your soul in *perishus* from everything Hashem commanded you to abstain from, until you reach such a level of disgust and revulsion for forbidden pleasures and desires that what your nature finds detestable among the forbidden becomes equal to what it naturally craves.
וְיִהְיֶה אֶצְלְךָ הַמִּשְׁגָּל הָאָסוּר וּלְקִיחַת אִסּוּר עַל פָּנִים אֲסוּרִים וְשֶׁתִּתְכַּבֵּד בִּקְלוֹן חֲבֵרְךָ וּגְנוּתוֹ אֲשֶׁר יְמַהֵר אֲלֵיהֶם חֵפֶץ הָאָדָם בְּטִבְעוֹ כַּאֲכִילַת הָעַכְבָּר וְהַדָּם וְהַשֶּׁקֶץ אֲשֶׁר יְתַעֲבֵהוּ טִבְעֲךָ וְתִשְׂנָאֵהוּ נַפְשְׁךָ.
Thus, forbidden relations, taking forbidden gains, and seeking honor through the disgrace and shame of your friend – things that a person's nature swiftly desires – should be to you like eating a mouse, blood, or a detestable creature, which your nature abhors and your soul hates.
וּכְשֶׁתַּגִּיעַ אֶל הַגְּבוּל הַזֶּה מִן הַפְּרִישׁוּת מִן הָאִסּוּר בְּלֹא הֶכְרֵחַ מִטִּבְעֲךָ וְלֹא קֹשִׁי מִנַּפְשְׁךָ, תִּהְיֶה מִן הַכִּתּוֹת הַנִּצָּלוֹת מִן הַחֵטְא וְהַמִּכְשׁוֹל אֲשֶׁר נֶאֱמַר עֲלֵיהֶם (משלי יב, כא) לֹא יְאֻנֶּה לַצַּדִּיק כָּל אָוֶן וְגוֹ׳.
And when you reach this level of *perishus* from forbidden things, without needing to force your nature and without resistance from your soul, you will be among those saved from sin and stumbling, about whom it is said (Mishlei 12:21), "No mischief shall befall the righteous, etc."
וְכֵן הַנִּתָּן בִּרְשׁוּתֵנוּ מִן הַמֻּתָּר הוּא עַל שְׁלֹשָׁה פָּנִים:
Similarly, what is permitted to us is also on three fronts:
אֶחָד מֵהֶם קַחַת הַמַּאֲכָל אֲשֶׁר לֹא יְכַוֵּן בּוֹ בְּעָלָיו אֶל תַּעֲנוּג וְלֹא יוּכַל הָאָדָם לַעֲמֹד בִּלְעָדָיו וְאֵין לוֹ תַּקָּנָה זוּלָתוֹ.
One is taking food where the person does not intend for pleasure, and a person cannot survive without it, and there is no other remedy for him.
וְהַשֵּׁנִי קַחַת הַמָּזוֹן מִן הַמֻּתָּר עַל דֶּרֶךְ הַוִּתּוּר וּמְכַוֵּן בּוֹ אֶל הַתַּעֲנוּג הַשָּׁוֶה מִבְּלִי רִבּוּי וְלֹא הִפָּקֵד כְּהַשְׁלָמַת הַצֹּרֶךְ מִן הַלֶּחֶם הַטּוֹב בְּתַבְשִׁילִים מְתֻקָּנִים בִּמְלַאכְתָּם וּשְׁתֹת הַיַּיִן הַטּוֹב עַל הַדֶּרֶךְ הַשָּׁוֶה וְכֵן בַּמַּלְבּוּשׁ וּבַדִּירָה וּשְׁאָר הָעִנְיָנִים.
The second is taking permitted food in a way of 'overlooking' (beyond the bare necessity), intending for a moderate pleasure, without excess or abandon, as a complement to what is minimally necessary; for example, eating good bread with well-prepared dishes, and drinking good wine in a balanced manner, and similarly with clothing, dwelling, and other matters.
וְהַשְּׁלִישִׁי קַחַת הַרְבֵּה מִן הַתַּעֲנוּגִים הַמֻּתָּרִים הַמַּפְלִיג בָּהֶם בַּעֲלֵיהֶם עַד שֶׁמְּבִיאִים אוֹתוֹ אֶל הַתַּעֲנוּגִים הָאֲסוּרִים עִם טִרְדָּתוֹ בָּהֶם מֵעֲשׂוֹת חוֹבוֹת אֱלֹהָיו שֶׁעָלָיו כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר (משלי לא) פֶּן יִשְׁתֶּה וְיִשְׁכַּח מְחֻקָּק.
The third is taking many permitted pleasures, where one indulges excessively, to the point that they lead him to forbidden pleasures, besides distracting him from fulfilling his duties to Hashem, as it says (Mishlei 31:5), "Lest he drink and forget that which is decreed."
וְרָאוּי לְךָ אָחִי שֶׁתִּתְנַהֵג בִּפְרִישׁוּת מִן הַתַּעֲנוּגִים הַמֻּתָּרִים בִּיכָלְתְּךָ עַד שֶׁיִּהְיוּ בְּעֵינֶיךָ בִּתְכוּנַת הַתַּעֲנוּגִים הָאֲסוּרִים עָלֶיךָ פֶּן תַּעֲזֹב תּוֹרָתְךָ וְתַנִּיחַ חוֹבָתְךָ,
And it is proper for you, my brother, to conduct yourself with *perishus* from permitted pleasures, to the best of your ability, until they are in your eyes like forbidden pleasures, lest you abandon your Torah and neglect your duties.
וּכְבָר עָמַדְתָּ עַל מָה שֶׁצִּוָּה הַבּוֹרֵא ית׳ אֶת הַמֶּלֶךְ בְּאָמְרוֹ (דברים יז) וְלֹא יַרְבֶּה לּוֹ נָשִׁים וְאָמַר (שם) רַק לֹא יַרְבֶּה לּוֹ סוּסִים, וְאָמַר (נחמיה יג) הֲלוֹא עַל אֵלֶּה חָטָא שְׁלֹמֹה וְגוֹ׳, עִם חֹזֶק שִׂכְלוֹ וְרֹב תְּבוּנָתוֹ וּגְדֻלָּתוֹ וּכְפִי בִּינָתְךָ הִשָּׁמֶר לְךָ וּשְׁמֹר נַפְשְׁךָ וּפְרֹשׁ מִכָּל אֲשֶׁר יַפְרִישְׁךָ מִמִּצְוֹת הָאֱלֹהִים.
You already know what the Creator, may He be blessed, commanded the king, saying (Devarim 17:17), "Neither shall he have many wives for himself," and it says (ibid. 17:16), "He shall not have many horses"; and it says (Nechemiah 13:26), "Did not Shlomo sin by these things, etc.?" even with his powerful intellect, vast understanding, and greatness, the women caused him to sin. Therefore, according to your understanding, be careful and guard your soul, and abstain from anything that will distance you from Hashem's mitzvos.
בְּלִבְּךָ וּבְמַצְפּוּנְךָ אִם לֹא תּוּכַל לְהִפָּנוֹת לְעִנְיְנֵי אַחֲרִיתְךָ מִפְּנֵי טִרְדָּתְךָ בְּצֹרֶךְ מְזוֹנְךָ וּמִחְיָתְךָ בְּעוֹלָמְךָ וְעִסְקְךָ בּוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁזָּכְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זַ״ל עַל הַרְבֵּה מֵהֶם שֶׁהָיוּ טוֹרְחִים בְּעִנְיַן עוֹלָמָם עִם הַפְּרִישׁוּת מִמֶּנּוּ כְּמוֹ אַבָּא חִלְקִיָּה שֶׁהָיָה מִשְׂתַּכֵּר לַחְפֹּר בָּאֲדָמָה וְשַׁמַּאי בִּמְלֶאכֶת הַבִּנְיָן וְהִלֵּל שֶׁהָיָה חוֹטֵב וּמִתְפַּרְנֵס מִן הָעֵצִים.
Do this in your heart and inner being, if you cannot free yourself for matters of your ultimate destiny due to your preoccupation with providing for your food and livelihood in this world and your involvement in it, just as our Rabbis, of blessed memory, mentioned about many great men who toiled in worldly matters while being detached from it (in heart and mind), such as Abba Chilkiya who earned his living by digging in the ground, Shammai in construction work, and Hillel who chopped wood and supported himself from it.
וְאַל תִּמְנָעֲךָ פְּרִישׁוּתְךָ בְּלִבְּךָ מֵהִתְעַסֵּק בָּזֶה מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאַתָּה מְכַוֵּן בּוֹ לַעֲבוֹדַת הָאֱלֹהִים כַּאֲשֶׁר הִקְדַּמְנוּ.
And do not let your inner *perishus* prevent you from engaging in such work, because your intention in it is for the service of Hashem, as we mentioned previously.
וְכַאֲשֶׁר תּוּכַל לְהַנִּיחַ עֵסֶק הָעוֹלָם תַּנִּיחֵהוּ בַּעֲבוּר עֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא.
But when you are able to give up worldly occupation, leave it for the sake of serving the Creator.
וְאַל יַסְפִּיק לְךָ מָה שֶׁאָמַרְנוּ בְּעֵת שֶׁלֹּא תּוּכַל בַּעֲבוּר צֹרֶךְ הַהַזְמָנָה לַמָּזוֹן כִּי הַמַּשְׁקִיף עַל מַצְפּוּנְךָ יַעֲזָרְךָ לְקַיֵּם מַחְשַׁבְתְּךָ בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ רַזַ״ל כָּל הַמְקַיֵּם אֶת הַתּוֹרָה מֵעֹנִי סוֹפוֹ לְקַיְּמָהּ מֵעֹשֶׁר וְכָל הַמְּבַטֵּל אֶת הַתּוֹרָה מֵעֹשֶׁר סוֹפוֹ לְבַטְּלָהּ מֵעֹנִי.
And do not be satisfied with what we said when you cannot (devote yourself fully to Hashem's service) due to the need to provide for food, because the One who observes your inner thoughts will help you fulfill your intention in His service, as our Sages, of blessed memory, said: "Whoever fulfills the Torah from poverty will eventually fulfill it from wealth, and whoever neglects the Torah from wealth will eventually neglect it from poverty."
וְרָאוּי לְךָ שֶׁתִּשְׁתַּדֵּל לֶאֱסֹר חוּשֶׁיךָ וּתְנוּעוֹת אֵבָרֶיךָ הַנִּרְאִים כְּמוֹ שֶׁאֲסַפֵּר לְךָ.
And it is proper for you to strive to restrain your senses and the movements of your visible limbs, as I will explain to you.
וְהוּא שֶׁתַּתְחִיל בָּרִאשׁוֹנָה לֶאֱסֹר לְשׁוֹנְךָ וְלִבְלֹם שְׂפָתֶיךָ וְתִפְרֹשׁ מִן הַדְּבָרִים הַבְּטֵלִים עַד שֶׁתִּהְיֶה בְּעֵינֶיךָ הֲנָעַת הָאֵבָר הַכָּבֵד שֶׁבְּאֵבָרֶיךָ יוֹתֵר קַלָּה מֵהֲנָעַת לְשׁוֹנְךָ כִּי הַלָּשׁוֹן מָהִיר בִּתְנוּעָתוֹ לַחֲטֹא וַחֲטָאָיו רַבִּים מִכֻּלָּם בַּעֲבוּר קַלּוּתוֹ וּמְהִירוּת תְּנוּעָתוֹ וְשֶׁהַשְׁלָמַת מַעֲשֵׂהוּ נְקַלָּה וִיכָלְתוֹ עַל הַטּוֹב וְהָרַע בְּלִי מִצּוּעַ.
This means that you should first begin by restraining your tongue and bridling your lips, and abstain from idle talk, until the movement of the heaviest limb in your body seems easier to you than the movement of your tongue; for the tongue is swift in its movement to sin, and its sins are more numerous than all others due to its lightness, the speed of its movement, the ease of completing its actions, and its ability to do both good and evil without any intermediary.
וּכְפִי זֶה אָחִי יֵשׁ מִן הַדִּין עָלֶיךָ לְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל לְבָלְמוֹ וְלִמְשֹׁל בּוֹ וְאַל תַּתִּיר לוֹ מִן הַדִּבּוּר אֶלָּא מָה שֶׁלֹּא תּוּכַל לַעֲמֹד בִּלְעָדָיו לְצֹרֶךְ הַתּוֹרָה אוֹ לְצֹרֶךְ הָעוֹלָם וְקַצֵּר מוֹתְרֵי לְשׁוֹנְךָ בְּכָל יְכָלְתְּךָ אוּלַי תִּנָּצֵל מִנִּזְקוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר הֶחָכָם (משלי יט) מָוֶת וְחַיִּים בְּיַד לָשׁוֹן.
Accordingly, my brother, it is your duty to strive to bridle it and control it, and do not permit it to speak anything except what you cannot do without, for the needs of Torah or for worldly needs; and shorten the excesses of your tongue with all your might, perhaps you will be saved from its harm, as the wise man said (Mishlei 18:21), "Death and life are in the power of the tongue."
וְהַקְדִּימֵהוּ עַל שְׁאָר הַחוּשִׁים וְהָאֵבָרִים לְקֹשִׁי הַדָּבָר בּוֹ יוֹתֵר מִשְּׁאֵרִיתָם כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר דָּוִד ע״ה (תהלים לד) מִי הָאִישׁ הֶחָפֵץ חַיִּים וְגוֹ׳ נְצֹר לְשׁוֹנְךָ מֵרָע וְגוֹ׳ וּבִסְפָרֵינוּ מִן הַהַזְהָרָה עַל הַמְעָטַת הַדְּבָרִים מָה שֶׁאֵינֶנּוּ נֶעֱלָם מֵרֻבּוֹ וּפִרְסוּמוֹ.
And we prioritize it (the tongue) over the other senses and limbs because the matter of controlling it is more difficult than the rest, as Dovid HaMelech, peace be upon him, said (Tehillim 34:13-14), "Who is the man who desires life, etc.? Guard your tongue from evil, etc." And in our holy books, the warning about minimizing speech is not hidden from its abundance and widespread knowledge.
וְכַאֲשֶׁר תִּרְצֶה לַעֲמֹד עַל בֵּרוּר מָה שֶׁזָּכַרְתִּי מֵרֹב חֲטָאֵי הַלָּשׁוֹן, קַבֵּל עַל עַצְמְךָ לִזְכֹּר מָה שֶׁיֵּצֵא מִלְּשׁוֹנְךָ בְּיוֹמְךָ בְּהִתְחַבֶּרְךָ עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם וְהִתְעָרֶבְךָ בָּם וְאִם תּוּכַל לְכָתְבוֹ עֲשֵׂה וְאַחַר כָּךְ הַעֲבִירֵהוּ עַל לִבְּךָ וְהַעֲלֵהוּ בְּמַחְשַׁבְתְּךָ בְּעֵת שֶׁאַתָּה פָּנוּי מִן הָעֲסָקִים בַּלַּיְלָה וְתִרְאֶה מָה שֶׁיֵּשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ לְצֹרֶךְ וּמָה שֶׁיֵּשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ מוֹתָר לֹא יוֹעִיל לְךָ וּמָה שֶׁמִּמֶּנּוּ מֵבִיא הַהֶזֵּק עָלֶיךָ כְּמוֹ הַכָּזָב וְהָרְכִילוּת וְהַשְּׁבוּעוֹת וְלָשׁוֹן הָרַע וְאָז יִתְבָּרֵר לְךָ חֶסְרוֹנְךָ וְתִרְאֶה בּוֹ מְעֻוָּתְךָ.
And when you want to clarify what I mentioned about the many sins of the tongue, take upon yourself to remember what comes out of your mouth during your day when you interact and mingle with people; and if you can write it down, do so. Afterwards, review it in your heart and bring it to your mind when you are free from your affairs at night, and you will see what among it is necessary, what is superfluous and will not benefit you, and what among it brings harm upon you, such as falsehood, tale-bearing, oaths, and *lashon hara*. Then your deficiencies will become clear to you, and you will see your crookedness in it.
וּפְקֹד זֶה מִמְּךָ תָּמִיד כְּפָקְדְךָ מְעֻוַּת אוֹיִבְךָ וְלֹא תַּתְמִיד בָּזֶה זְמַן מוּעָט שֶׁתְּתֻקַּן לְשׁוֹנְךָ וְיִמְעֲטוּ דְּבָרֶיךָ,
And always remember this about yourself, just as you would remember the crookedness of your enemy, and you will not persist in this for long until your tongue is corrected and your words become few.
וְשִׂים תְּמוּרַת רֹב דְּבָרֶיךָ אֹרֶךְ מַחְשַׁבְתְּךָ וְהַתְמָדַת בְּחִינָתְךָ וְהַחֶשְׁבּוֹן עִם נַפְשְׁךָ, כִּי הַמַּחְשָׁבָה נֵר שֶׁתַּכְנִיסֵהוּ אֶל לִבְּךָ וְהַחֶשְׁבּוֹן שֶׁמֶשׁ תָּאִיר בְּאוֹרוֹ מַצְפּוּנְךָ לְגַלּוֹת לְךָ מָה שֶׁהוּא צָפוּן בּוֹ מִן הַטּוֹב וְהָרַע וְהַלָּשׁוֹן שַׁעַר הַמַּצְפּוּן, וְאִם הַלָּשׁוֹן יִהְיֶה מֻפְקָר וְלֹא יֵיטִיב לִשְׁמֹר מָה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בַּמַּצְפּוּנִים יִהְיֶה שַׁעַר הָאוֹצָר פָּתוּחַ וְיֵצֵא מָה שֶׁאֵינְךָ חָפֵץ בְּצֵאתוֹ וְיֵרָאֶה מָה שֶׁאֵין הֵרָאוּתוֹ טוֹב בְּעֵינֶיךָ, וּכְשֶׁתִּשְׁמֹר הַשַּׁעַר אַתָּה שׁוֹמֵר הָאוֹצָר וּמָה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בּוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר הֶחָכָם (משלי יז) גַּם אֱוִיל מַחֲרִישׁ חָכָם יֵחָשֵׁב וְאָמַר (קהלת ה) אַל תְּבַהֵל עַל פִּיךָ וְגוֹ׳ וְאָמַר (שם) אַל תִּתֵּן אֶת פִּיךָ וְגוֹ׳.
And in place of much talk, put length of thought, continuous examination, and accounting with your soul; for thought is a lamp that you bring into your heart, and accounting is a sun whose light illuminates your inner being to reveal to you what is hidden within it, whether good or bad. The tongue is the gate of the inner being, and if the tongue is unrestrained and does not properly guard what is in the inner chambers, then the gate of the treasure will be open, and what you do not wish to come out will emerge, and what you do not want to be seen will be seen. But when you guard the gate, you guard the treasure and what is within it, as the wise man said (Mishlei 17:28), "Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise," and it says (Koheles 5:1), "Be not rash with your mouth, etc.," and it says (ibid. 5:5), "Do not allow your mouth, etc."
וְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל אַחַר כָּךְ לַעֲצֹם עֵינֶיךָ וְחוּשׁ רְאוּתְךָ מֵהַבִּיט אֶל מָה שֶׁאֵינֶנּוּ צָרִיךְ לְךָ אוֹ מַה שֶׁיַּטְרִיד לִבְּךָ מֵחֲשֹׁב בְּמָה שֶׁיּוֹעִילְךָ וּפְרֹשׁ מִמּוֹתַר הָרְאוּת כְּפִי יְכָלְתְּךָ וְאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זַ״ל לִבָּא וְעֵינָא תְּרֵי סַרְסוּרֵי דְּחֶטְאָה.
Afterwards, strive to close your eyes and your sense of sight from looking at what is not necessary for you, or what will distract your heart from thinking about what will benefit you; and abstain from excessive looking to the best of your ability. Our Rabbis, of blessed memory, said: "The heart and the eye are two matchmakers for sin."
אֲבָל הִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בִּרְאוּתְךָ וְהַבָּטָתְךָ לְהַבִּיט אֶל יְצִירוֹת הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְעַלֶּה לִבְחֹן מֵהֶן וְלַחְשֹׁב בָּהֶן וּלְהָבִין יְכֹלֶת הַבּוֹרֵא וְטוּבוֹ מֵהֶן כמ״ש דָּוִד ע״ה (תהלים ח) כִּי אֶרְאֶה שָׁמֶיךָ מַעֲ
However, use your sight and gaze to look at the creations of the exalted Creator, to examine them, to ponder them, and to understand the Creator's power and goodness from them, as Dovid HaMelech, peace be upon him, said (Tehillim 8:4), "When I behold Your heavens, the work of Your fingers..."
Rabbeinu Bachya begins by outlining three categories of Torah-sanctioned abstinence: social interactions, physical senses and limbs, and inner thoughts and traits. He first details social abstinence, emphasizing humility, kindness, mercy, and patience towards others, while avoiding gatherings that lead to sin or immodesty. Next, he addresses abstinence concerning physical senses and limbs, dividing it into two types: abstaining from the forbidden and abstaining from the permitted. Regarding the forbidden, he categorizes them into those naturally desired, neutral, or abhorred, teaching us to train ourselves to equally detest all forbidden things, regardless of natural inclination. For permitted things, he likewise divides them into three: necessities, moderate enjoyment, and excessive indulgence. He strongly advises abstaining from excessive permitted pleasures, warning that they can lead to sin and distract from *avodas Hashem*, citing examples from Tanach to underscore the danger of overindulgence, even in permitted matters.
The Chovos HaLevavos is teaching us a profound chiddush about *perishus*, about abstinence. We might think perishus means just staying away from *assur* things, from what's forbidden. But the Chovos HaLevavos goes much deeper. He tells us that true perishus, the kind that really protects us and elevates us, means training ourselves to feel the same revulsion for things that are forbidden, even those our nature desires, as we do for things that are naturally disgusting, like eating a mouse or blood. This isn't just about *doing* the right thing; it's about *feeling* the right way, transforming our inner nature.
This is a tremendous avodah. It means working on our middos, on our inner desires, until the very thought of a forbidden act becomes as repulsive to us as something physically vile. It's not enough to just say "I won't do it." We need to reach a point where our neshama recoils from it, where our inner being is disgusted by it. This is the ultimate protection, as the pasuk says, "No mischief shall befall the righteous." When we reach this level, the yetzer hara loses its grip because the desire itself is gone.
And it doesn't stop there. The Chovos HaLevavos extends this idea to *mutar* things, to permitted pleasures. He warns us that even permitted enjoyments, when taken to excess, can lead us astray, distracting us from Hashem's mitzvos. Just like Shlomo HaMelech, with all his wisdom, stumbled because he indulged too much in permitted things, we too must be careful. We need to cultivate a sense of detachment even from the permitted, so that they don't become a stumbling block.
So, the practical takeaway for us today is this: Choose one area where you feel a strong natural pull towards something forbidden, or where you tend to overindulge in something permitted. Work on cultivating a genuine inner revulsion for the forbidden, and a healthy detachment from the excessive permitted, through davening, learning, and conscious effort, until your heart truly aligns with Hashem's will.