This chapter of Shaar HaTeshuvah delves into the profound question of whether repentance is effective for all sins. We will explore the two main categories of sins: those solely between man and Hashem, and those involving both man and his fellow. The chapter outlines the path to teshuvah for sins against Hashem, emphasizing that it is possible throughout one's lifetime, provided there is sincere intent to turn away from the transgression and cleanse the soul.
However, the chapter then presents a detailed discussion on the significant challenges in repenting for sins committed against another person. It enumerates various scenarios where full rectification becomes exceedingly difficult, if not impossible, due to factors such as the inability to locate the wronged party, financial constraints, the victim's unwillingness to forgive, or the sheer magnitude and complexity of the transgression. This section highlights the gravity of interpersonal sins and the intricate steps required for their atonement.
אֲבָל אִם תִּתָּכֵן הַתְּשׁוּבָה מִכָּל חֵטְא אִם לֹא, אוֹמַר בִּתְשׁוּבַת הַשְּׁאֵלָה הַזֹּאת כִּי הָעֲוֹנוֹת שְׁנֵי מִינִים.
Regarding whether teshuvah is possible for every sin or not, I will answer this question by stating that there are two categories of aveiros.
אֶחָד מֵהֶם עֲוֹנוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם בִּלְבַד כְּכַחֵשׁ בֵּאלֹהִים וְהַמַּחְשָׁבוֹת הָרָעוֹת וְהַמַּצְפּוּנִים הָרָעִים וְלָאוִין שֶׁבְּחוֹבוֹת הַלְּבָבוֹת וְהַרְבֵּה מֵחוֹבוֹת הָאֵבָרִים אֲשֶׁר לֹא יַחְמֹס הַחוֹטֵא בָּהֶם כִּי אִם נַפְשׁוֹ בִּלְבַד וְאֵין אַשְׁמָה עָלָיו אֶלָּא לְהַמְרוֹתוֹ מִצְוַת אֱלֹהָיו.
One category is aveiros solely between a person and Hashem, such as denying Hashem, evil thoughts, bad inner intentions, negative mitzvos of the heart, and many mitzvos of the limbs where the sinner harms only his own soul, and his only guilt is in rebelling against the command of his G-d.
וְהַמִּין הַשֵּׁנִי עֲוֹנוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ וְהֵם שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהֶם עִנְיָן מֵעִנְיְנֵי הָרָעָה וְהֶחָמָס לִבְנֵי אָדָם אִם בְּגוּפָם אִם בְּמָמוֹנָם אוֹ בְּזִכְרָם וּמְקַבֵּץ הַחוֹטֵא חֲמָסוֹ בְּנַפְשׁוֹ בְּהַמְרוֹתוֹ אֶת אֱלֹהָיו עִם חֲמָסוֹ ב״א.
The second category is aveiros between a person and his fellow, which involve matters of harm and oppression towards other people, whether to their bodies, their money, or their reputation; in these, the sinner combines the oppression of his own soul by rebelling against Hashem with the oppression of other people.
וּמָה שֶׁיִּהְיֶה מִן הָעֲוֹנוֹת וְהַחֲטָאִים בֵּין הָאָדָם לֵאלֹהָיו בִּלְבַד תִּתָּכֵן לוֹ הַתְּשׁוּבָה מֵהֶם בְּעוֹדֶנּוּ בַּחַיִּים כְּשֶׁיִּתְעוֹרֵר לְקִצּוּרוֹ וְיִשְׁתַּדֵּל לָשׁוּב מֵעֲוֹנוֹ אֵצֶל בּוֹרְאוֹ.
For aveiros and sins that are solely between a person and Hashem, teshuvah is possible for him throughout his lifetime, whenever he awakens to his shortcomings and strives to turn away from his sin to his Creator.
וּמִן הַדִּין עָלָיו שֶׁתִּהְיֶה הַתְּשׁוּבָה מִן הֶעָוֹן בַּמִּין שֶׁחָטָא בּוֹ אִם יוּכַל שֶׁאִם יִהְיֶה הַחֵטְא בְּחוֹבוֹת הַלְּבָבוֹת כַּלֵּב הָרַע וְהַמַּחְשָׁבָה הָרָעָה וְהַנְּטִירָה וְהַקִּנְאָה וְהַשִּׂנְאָה וְהַדּוֹמֶה לָזֶה, הַתְּשׁוּבָה מִמֶּנּוּ רְאוּיָה לִהְיוֹת בַּהֲטָבַת הַלֵּב וְאַהֲבַת הַטּוֹב לִבְנֵי אָדָם וְהַמְּחִילָה לָהֶם.
It is proper for his teshuvah from the sin to be in the same category in which he sinned, if possible; for example, if the sin was in the duties of the heart, such as a bad heart, evil thoughts, bearing a grudge, jealousy, hatred, or similar things, the appropriate teshuvah for this is to cultivate a good heart, love of doing good to others, and forgiving them.
וְאִם יִהְיֶה הַחֵטְא בְּאֵבָר מֵאֵבְרֵי הַגּוּף בַּאֲכִילַת מָה שֶׁאָסַר הַבּוֹרֵא אֲכִילָתוֹ וְהַבְּעִילוֹת שֶׁהִזְהִיר מֵהֶן וְחִלּוּל שַׁבָּתוֹת וּמוֹעֲדִים וּשְׁבוּעוֹת שֶׁקֶר רָאוּי שֶׁתִּהְיֶה תְּשׁוּבָתוֹ מִמֶּנּוּ בְּאוֹתוֹ עִנְיָן וּבְאוֹתוֹ מִין שֶׁהָיָה חוֹטֵא בּוֹ עִם שִׁתּוּף הַלֵּב בְּכַוָּנָה לֵאלֹהִים.
And if the sin was with a limb of the body, such as eating what the Creator forbade, forbidden relations, desecrating Shabbos and Yomim Tovim, or false oaths, it is proper for his teshuvah to be in that specific matter and in that category in which he sinned, along with the heart's intention towards Hashem.
וְכָל הָעִנְיָן הַזֶּה יִתָּכֵן לָאָדָם בְּחַיָּיו בְּעוֹד שֶׁהוּא מַאֲרִיךְ יָמִים עִם בֵּרוּר כַּוָּנָתוֹ כְּשֶׁהוּא מְכַוֵּן לִתְשׁוּבָה וּלְטַהֵר נַפְשׁוֹ מֵעֲוֹנוֹ אֵצֶל בּוֹרְאוֹ וּבְכָמוֹהוּ אָמַר הֶחָכָם (משלי ט) אִם חָכַמְתָּ חָכַמְתָּ לָּךְ.
All this is possible for a person during his lifetime, as long as he lives long enough, with a clear intention when he aims for teshuvah and to purify his soul from its sin before his Creator; concerning such a penitent, the wise man said (Mishlei 9:12), 'If you are wise, you are wise for yourself.'
אֲבָל מָה שֶׁיִּהְיֶה מִן הָעֲוֹנוֹת לֵאלֹהִים וְלִבְנֵי אָדָם יִקְשֶׁה עַל הָאָדָם הַתְּשׁוּבָה מֵהֶם לְכַמָּה פָּנִים.
However, for aveiros that are both against Hashem and against other people, teshuvah is difficult for a person for several reasons.
מֵהֶם שֶׁלֹּא יִמְצָא הֶעָשׁוּק אוֹ שֶׁיָּמוּת אוֹ שֶׁמְּקוֹמוֹ רָחוֹק.
One reason is that he may not find the person he wronged, or that person may have died, or their location may be far away.
וּמֵהֶם שֶׁיֹּאבַד הַמָּמוֹן מִיָּד הָעוֹשֵׁק וְאֵין לְאֵל יָדוֹ לְהָשִׁיב הָעֹשֶׁק לִבְעָלָיו.
Another is that the money may have been lost from the oppressor's possession, and he is unable to return the stolen item to its owner.
וּמֵהֶם שֶׁהֶעָשׁוּק שֶׁמָּא לֹא יִמְחֹל לָעוֹשֵׁק בְּמָה שֶׁעֲשָׁקוֹ מֵהֶזֵּקוֹ בְּגוּפוֹ וְסַפְּרוֹ בִּגְנוּתוֹ.
Furthermore, the wronged person may not forgive the oppressor for the harm he inflicted upon his body or for speaking badly about him.
וּמֵהֶם שֶׁלֹּא יַכִּיר הָעוֹשֵׁק אֶת הֶעָשׁוּק אוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יָדַע סַךְ הַמָּמוֹן אֲשֶׁר עָשַׁק כְּמוֹ שֶׁעָשַׁק אַנְשֵׁי קִרְיָה אוֹ אַנְשֵׁי מְדִינָה וְלֹא הִכִּיר אוֹתָם וְלֹא נִתְבָּרֵר אֶצְלוֹ מִסְפַּר הַמָּמוֹן שֶׁלָּקַח מֵהֶם בְּעָוֶל וּבְחָמָס.
Another difficulty is that the oppressor may not know the person he wronged, or he may not know the amount of money he stole, such as when he oppressed the people of a city or a province and did not recognize them, nor was the amount of money he took from them wrongfully and by force clear to him.
וּמֵהֶם שֶׁנִּטְבַּע הַמָּמוֹן הָאָסוּר בִּכְפָלָיו מִן הַמֻּתָּר וְאֵינוֹ קַל לְהוֹצִיא אוֹתוֹ מִמֶּנּוּ אֶלָּא בְּהֶפְסֵד הַרְבֵּה חֲלָקִים מִן הַמֻּתָּר כמ״ש רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זַ״ל גָּזַל מָרִישׁ וּבְנָאוֹ בְּבִירָה בֵּית שַׁמַּאי אוֹמְרִים מְקַעְקֵעַ כָּל הַבִּירָה כֻּלָּהּ וּמַחְזִיר מָרִישׁ לִבְעָלָיו וּבֵית הִלֵּל אוֹמְרִים אֵין לוֹ אֶלָּא דְּמֵי מָרִישׁ בִּלְבַד מִפְּנֵי תַּקָּנַת הַשָּׁבִים.
Still another is when forbidden money has become mixed with many times its amount of permitted money, and it is not easy to extract it without incurring a loss of many parts of the permitted money, as our Rabbis, of blessed memory, said: 'If one stole a beam and built it into a palace, Beis Shammai say: 'He must dismantle the entire palace and return the beam to its owner.' Beis Hillel say: 'He only needs to return the value of the beam, due to the enactment for penitents.'
וּמִמָּה שֶׁתִּקְשֶׁה עוֹד הַתְּשׁוּבָה מִמֶּנּוּ מַה שֶׁנָּהַג בּוֹ הָאָדָם עַד שֶׁשָּׁב לוֹ הַמַּעֲשֶׂה הָרַע דָּבֵק כְּהִדָּבֵק הַמַּעֲשִׂים הַטִּבְעִיִּים אֲשֶׁר לֹא יֵקַל לְהַנִּיחָם כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב (ירמיהו ט׳:ד׳) לִמְּדוּ לְשׁוֹנָם דַּבֶּר שֶׁקֶר הַעֲוֵה נִלְאוּ וְאָמַר (שם יג) הֲיַהֲפֹךְ כּוּשִׁי עוֹרוֹ וְנָמֵר חֲבַרְבֻּרֹתָיו וְגוֹ׳.
Another reason teshuvah becomes difficult is when a person has become so accustomed to a bad deed that it clings to him like natural actions, which are not easy to abandon, as it is written (Yirmiyahu 9:4), 'They have taught their tongue to speak lies, they weary themselves to commit iniquity,' and it says (ibid. 13:23), 'Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots?'
וּמֵהֶם שְׁפִיכוּת דָּמִים וַהֲרִיגַת הַנְּקִיִּים בֵּין בִּפְגִיעָה בֵּין בַּהֲלִיכַת רְכִילוּת כְּמוֹ שֶׁיָּדַעְתָּ מֵעִנְיַן דּוֹאֵג בְּעִיר הַכֹּהֲנִים אֲשֶׁר גָּרַם לְהָרְגָם בִּרְכִילוּת תְּחִלָּה וּפָגַע בָּהֶם אַחַר כָּךְ כְּמוֹ שנא׳ (שמואל א כ״ב:י״ח) וַיִּסֹּב דּוֹאֵג הָאֲדֹמִי וַיִּפְגַּע הוּא בַּכֹּהֲנִים.
Among these difficult cases are bloodshed and the killing of the innocent, whether by direct assault or by slander, as you know from the matter of Doeg in the city of Kohanim, who first caused them to be killed through his slander and then attacked them himself, as it is stated (Shmuel I 22:18), 'Then Doeg the Edomite turned and attacked the Kohanim.'
וּמֵהֶם עוֹד מִי שֶׁגּוֹרֵם לְאַבֵּד מָמוֹן חֲבֵרוֹ בִּרְכִילוּתוֹ אֵין עוֹלָה לוֹ תְּשׁוּבָה עַד שֶׁיְּרַצֶּה אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ אִם בְּמָמוֹן אִם בְּפִיּוּס וּבִכְנִיעָה לִמְחֹל לוֹ וְלִנְשֹׁא חֶטְאוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב (מיכה ג׳:ג׳) וַאֲשֶׁר אָכְלוּ שְׁאֵר עַמִּי וְעוֹרָם מֵעֲלֵיהֶם הִפְשִׁיטוּ.
Furthermore, for one who causes his fellow to lose money through his slander, his teshuvah is not effective until he appeases his fellow, whether with money or with entreaty and humility, to forgive him and bear his sin, as it is written (Micha 3:3), 'And those who ate the flesh of My people and stripped their skin from them.'
וּמֵהֶם מִי שֶׁבָּא אֶל הָעֶרְוָה וְהוֹלִיד מִמֶּנָּה מַמְזֵר כִּי הַחֶרְפָּה לֹא תָּמוּשׁ וַהֲשָׁבַת הַמְעֻוָּת אִי אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר (איוב לא) כִּי הִיא זִמָּה וְהוּא עָוֹן פְּלִילִים כִּי אֵשׁ הִיא עַד אֲבַדּוֹן תֹּאכֵל וְאָמַר הַכָּתוּב (הושע ה) בַּה׳ בָּגָדוּ כִּי בָנִים זָרִים יָלָדוּ.
Another is one who engaged in forbidden relations and fathered a mamzer from it, for the disgrace will never depart, and the wrong cannot be rectified, as it says (Iyov 31:11), 'For that is lewdness, and it is an iniquity to be punished by the judges; for it is a fire, it consumes to destruction,' and the verse says (Hoshea 5:7), 'They betrayed Hashem, for they begot strange children.'
וּמֵהֶם מִי שֶׁהִרְגִּיל לְשׁוֹנוֹ לְכַזֵּב וּלְסַפֵּר בִּגְנוּת בְּנֵי אָדָם וּלְדַבֵּר בָּהֶם וְאֵינֶנּוּ יָכוֹל לַעֲמֹד עַל זֶה מֵרֻבּוֹ מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאֵין לוֹ תַּכְלִית אֶצְלוֹ וּכְבָר שָׁכַח הָאֲנָשִׁים אֲשֶׁר דִּבֵּר בָּם וְהַכֹּל שָׁמוּר עָלָיו וְכָתוּב בְּסֵפֶר עֲוֹנֹתָיו וּבוֹ נֶאֱמַר (תהלים מא) וְאִם בָּא לִרְאוֹת שָׁוְא יְדַבֵּר לִבּוֹ יִקְבָּץ אָוֶן לוֹ וְאָמַר (שם נ) אִם רָאִיתָ גַנָּב וַתִּרֶץ עִמּוֹ וּשְׁאָר הָעִנְיָן. וְהִנֵּה הִשְׁוָה הַלָּשׁוֹן הָרַע עִם הַגְּנֵבָה וְהַנִּאוּף וְאָמַר (ירמיהו ט׳:ד׳) וְאִישׁ בְּרֵעֵהוּ יְהָתֵלּוּ.
Another is one who accustomed his tongue to lie and to speak disparagingly of people and to talk about them, and he cannot keep track of it due to its abundance, because it has no end for him, and he has already forgotten the people he spoke about; yet everything is preserved against him and written in the book of his sins, and concerning him it is said (Tehillim 41:7), 'And if he comes to see me, he speaks vanity; his heart gathers iniquity to itself; when he goes abroad, he tells it,' and it says (ibid. 50:18), 'When you saw a thief, you were pleased with him,' and the rest of the matter. Behold, the verse equated lashon hara with theft and adultery, and it says (Yirmiyahu 9:4), 'And a man will deceive his fellow.'
וּמִמָּה שֶׁתִּקְשֶׁה הַתְּשׁוּבָה מִמֶּנּוּ מִי שֶׁהִדִּיחַ בְּנֵי אָדָם בְּדַת שֶׁבָּדָה לָהֶם וְהִכְרִיחָם לְהַאֲמִין בָּהּ וְתָעָה וְהִתְעָה וְכָל אֲשֶׁר יוֹסִיף הָעָם הַמַּאֲמִינִים בָּהּ יוֹסִיף עֲוֹנוֹ וְיֻכְפַּל כְּמוֹ שארז״ל כָּל הַמְזַכֶּה אֶת הָרַבִּים אֵין חֵטְא בָּא עַל יָדוֹ וְכָל הַמַּחְטִיא אֶת הָרַבִּים אֵין מַסְפִּיקִין בְּיָדוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה וְאָמְרוּ יָרָבְעָם חָטָא וְהֶחֱטִיא אֶת הָרַבִּים חֵטְא הָרַבִּים תָּלוּי בּוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (מלכים א טו) עַל חַטֹּאת יָרָבְעָם אֲשֶׁר חָטָא וַאֲשֶׁר הֶחֱטִיא וְגוֹ׳.
And among those for whom teshuvah is difficult is one who led people astray with a religion he invented for them and compelled them to believe in it; he erred and caused others to err, and the more people who believe in it, the more his sin will increase and be multiplied, as our Sages, of blessed memory, said: 'Whoever brings merit to the many, no sin comes through him; but whoever causes the many to sin, he is not given the opportunity to do teshuvah.' And they said: 'Yeravam sinned and caused the many to sin, and so the sin of the many is attributed to him, as it is stated (Melachim I 15:30), 'Because of the sins of Yeravam that he committed and that he caused Yisrael to commit, etc.''
וּמַשִּׂיג בַּמִּין הַזֶּה מִי שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לְצַוּוֹת בַּטּוֹב וּלְהַזְהִיר מִן הָרָע לַאֲנָשִׁים תּוֹעִים וְעִכְּבוֹ מִזֶּה יִחוּל מָמוֹנָם אוֹ יִרְאָתָם אוֹ בָּשְׁתּוֹ מֵהוֹכִיחַ אוֹתָם וְתָעוּ וְלֹא הוֹרָה אוֹתָם הַדֶּרֶךְ הַיְּשָׁרָה כמ״ש (יחזקאל לג) הוּא רָשָׁע בַּעֲוֹנוֹ יָמוּת וְדָמוֹ מִיָּדְךָ אֲבַקֵּשׁ:
Included in this category is one who is able to command good and warn against evil for erring people, but was prevented from doing so by hoping for their money, or fearing them, or being ashamed to rebuke them, and they went astray because he did not teach them the straight path, as it is written (Yechezkel 33:8), 'That wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require from your hand.'
Shaar HaTeshuvah Chapter Nine begins by categorizing sins into two types: those between man and Hashem, and those between man and his fellow. For sins against Hashem, the chapter explains that repentance is always possible during one's lifetime, provided there is sincere intent, and that the form of repentance should ideally correspond to the nature of the sin. It then transitions to the complexities of repenting for sins against one's fellow, detailing eleven specific reasons why such teshuvah can be extremely difficult. These reasons include the inability to find the wronged party, financial inability to make restitution, the victim's refusal to forgive, not knowing the extent of the damage, the mixing of stolen funds, the entrenchment of bad habits, the irreversible nature of bloodshed or causing a mamzer, the widespread damage of slander, and the profound difficulty of repenting for leading others astray into false beliefs.
My dear friend, the Chovos HaLevavos today lays out a profound truth about teshuvah: there are two kinds of sins. Those between us and Hashem, where teshuvah is always possible as long as we live, and those between us and another person, which are far, far more difficult to rectify. Why? Because with Hashem, He is always ready to forgive when we truly turn to Him. But with another person, we need their forgiveness, their willingness to accept our amends, and sometimes, the damage is simply irreversible.
This isn't just a theoretical distinction; it's a call to action. We often think of teshuvah as a process for Yom Kippur, or for big, obvious sins. But the Chovos HaLevavos is teaching us that the most challenging teshuvah is often for the seemingly 'smaller' things we do to others – a harsh word, a moment of jealousy, a slight to someone's honor. These are the things that can become deeply ingrained habits, like the Ethiopian's skin or the leopard's spots, as the Navi says. And because they involve another person, the path to full teshuvah is fraught with obstacles.
So what does this mean for our daily avodah? It means we must be incredibly vigilant in our interactions with others. Before we speak, before we act, we need to pause and consider: will this cause pain? Will this diminish someone? Because if it does, the path back to a clean slate is not just between us and Hashem, but between us and another soul, and that is a much harder journey. It's a powerful reminder that bein adam l'chaveiro is not just a category of mitzvos; it's a category of teshuvah that demands our utmost care and prevention.
Today, let's commit to being extra mindful of our words and actions towards others, knowing that preventing a sin bein adam l'chaveiro is infinitely easier than trying to fix it later.